In human medicine, we can generally talk with our patients and ask them: what’s wrong, where does it hurt, what do you need, what can I do for you? It’s infinitely harder when there’s a communication barrier - when they can’t tell you where it hurts, when you can’t tell them why you’re doing all … Continue reading On loss, grief, and letting go.
For years, I watched my 23rd birthday approach with some trepidation. As a child I attributed much significance to signs and symbols, and reaching the age of my day of birth seemed particularly impactful. As I grew older, I made plans - I'd go to Vegas, hike the grand canyon, try my hand at the … Continue reading Champagne Year
Oh hi, 2018
I don't really do New Year's resolutions anymore. I'm very much all-or-nothing when it comes to goals, and this combined with my propensity for setting entirely too many or some that are just unrealistic has meant that, in the past, I've started out the year all gung-ho and ready to go, only to burn out … Continue reading Oh hi, 2018
Various States of Decay
i. For a while I’d convinced Myself that I couldn’t Feel Anger -A while. ii. I hope to never feel rage Like that Again. (It’s unbecoming.) -The hurt. iii. You tore me Apart Bit By Bit And all at once (I think that I Left a piece of Me Behind) -On unbecoming. iv. I wish … Continue reading Various States of Decay
You don’t owe anyone your story.
I’ve had a lot of people reach out to me over the course of the past year, primarily since speaking at an “Our Stories” event hosted by the uOttawa Faculty of Medicine (that was an incredible experience – it was such a privilege to hold space with so many and to hear so many heartbreaking/inspiring/tragic/hopeful … Continue reading You don’t owe anyone your story.
Car Chronicles (Upon Another Sleepless Night)
This marks the third night straight I've been unable to sleep. This is possibly the most "woe-to-my-first-world-problems" entry I've ever written. It's meant to be funny, is supposed to be quite tongue-in-cheek, and probably comes across as rambling. Saturday night was a "Back-to-Ottawa-BBQ-Birthday-Bash" for my lovely new roommate, during which I met a bunch of her friends … Continue reading Car Chronicles (Upon Another Sleepless Night)
Incompatibilities: To understand why, why I’ve always been filled with This noxious existential dread Why this body has always been a discomfort to me How easily I dissociate from my physical experiences Or worse, internalize them deeply A prisoner in my own flesh, my ribcage Holding prisoner a heart that doesn’t even Really understand that … Continue reading Majority Groups
Anger is an emotion that oftentimes demands to be felt. What's interesting, however, is the fact that it is usually superimposed over other feelings. Fear. Uncertainty. Self-doubt. Hurt. Disappointment. Loss. Guilt. Shame. Three years ago or so, my therapist asked me when it was that I last got angry. I stared blankly at her; I … Continue reading On Anger
Reflections on Undergrad
Fall 2015 It's nearing midnight. I'm at the kitchen table, bleary eyes glued to my computer screen, an umpteenth cup of tea clutched between shaking fingers. I'm one hundred and thirty-two sources into my thesis literature review. Thirty PDFs are open in Google Chrome tabs. Another word document peeks (barely) at me in the corner … Continue reading Reflections on Undergrad
Bucket Lists and Goal Setting
I recently came across a journal entry from 2010 or so - a life-planning entry of sorts. The fact that I was already talking about becoming a doctor at the time kind of surprised me, because I distinctly recall feeling lost as to what I'd do with my life until discovering MD/PhD programs in my … Continue reading Bucket Lists and Goal Setting