Call

Heartache
Isn’t always feeling lovesick
Sometimes it’s
Despair
Disguised as
Inadequacy
It’s not enough words –
Being incapable of
Conveying this much
Feeling
Is the hardest part of
This

It’s lying next to your
Lover when they
Won’t love your body
It’s contemplating the
Worst Parts
Of humanity and
Finding them within
Yourself

It’s that space in your
Ribcage
Aching for you
After you
Dried yourself out
Last Week
When you
Made That Call

Lately it seems that
I am
The One to Always
Make That Call
End a relationship
End a life
Compassion –
For them
Or for myself
This question tortures me
Because
One feels wrong
And one feels right
(I wasn’t taught to
Put myself
First)