Oh hi, 2018

I don’t really do New Year’s resolutions anymore. I’m very much all-or-nothing when it comes to goals, and this combined with my propensity for setting entirely too many or some that are just unrealistic has meant that, in the past, I’ve started out the year all gung-ho and ready to go, only to burn out within a couple of weeks and begin to feel like a failure (a story I’m sure many can relate to). I just don’t have the energy for this self-fulfilling prophecy of self-deprecation anymore, you know?

This year I’m trying something different. After extensive deliberation, I finally bit the bullet and purchased a class pass for my favourite local yoga studio, because there really isn’t anything I’ve found better for my state of mind than regular practice (oh, and holding those occasionally very intense poses also works wonders on this body of mine that I fail to move regularly during the school year, a phenomenon itself secondary to stress – double win!). After three classes in the span of 36 hours, my muscles are  b u r n i n g , particularly in my always less-than-flexible shoulders. I’ve discovered that I’m holding a lot of tension in my left hip for reasons unknown, but hey, it’s good to learn these things about yourself. Hopefully a good night’s sleep will leave me refreshed for tomorrow’s class.

I’m also on day three of my second formal Whole30, which feels great. I’m eating homemade egg and vegetable muffins or sausage patties or chia pudding with fruit for breakfasts, leftovers or mason jar salads for lunch, and anything ranging from spaghetti squash with meat sauce and roasted broccoli to salmon with mango salsa and sautéed green beans to chicken and butternut squash curry with cauliflower rice for dinner. My landlord stopped by today to pick up rent and brought double chocolate doughnuts, which were momentarily tempting (especially when I returned, ravenous, from my clinical placement at the hospital this evening). Otherwise, I’ve had no trouble. After the chocolate, pastry, rich food and alcohol-filled holidays, it’s nice to take a break – my body’s revelling in eating mostly plants again. I’m enjoying the meal-planning aspect too; as a busy single person cooking for herself, the organizational aspect is wonderful.

We started our psychiatry and neurology block yesterday. It’s strange to think that we’ve skimmed every body system except for the brain so far. I know so much more than I did a year and a half ago, and especially that there’s so much I don’t know or have forgotten already (I’m not sure which is worse). I can’t wait to get out of the classroom and into a practical clinical setting – we’re in the process of selecting our order of placements for clerkship right now.

I’ve had three lectures so far and probably should revise them, but instead I’m making herbal tea and writing this post. This is fine – there’s always tomorrow. Some of my classmates and I were reflecting earlier on the importance of taking care of ourselves today so that we can continue to do so tomorrow. If there are any intentions I’ve set for the new year, they’re these: to nourish my body through healthy food and movement to nourish my mind through regular writing and artistic expression, and to let go of perfection (aka: stay relaxed. Test grades are just test grades.)

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