The past six weeks have been… eventful, to say the least. I travelled through six countries; my relationship of four years ended; I got accepted to medical school; I graduated from university; my grandfather passed away; I left one job to begin another; I’ve been to concerts and seen dozens of people and have laughed and cried and danced more than I have in the past four, possibly eight, years combined. Some of my friendships have reached natural ends brought on by moves and graduations and peaceful realizations that our roads are diverging. New relationships are burgeoning, new horizons to explore open, and I find myself torn between running towards these, arms outstretched, and curling back up into bed for one more hour of non-sleep.
To be in this space feels odd; the knowledge that every single person on this planet goes through phases like these time and time again makes me grateful for these fundamentally human experiences, for being in good health (mind and body), capable of handling whatever it is life throws at me. I’m looking forward to seeing what life holds for me, for my peers, for the world as we shape and reshape it, generation after generation.
Where will I travel? What will I learn? Will I have a family of my own one day? What good are plans when everything remains so uncertain? Certainty is never guaranteed, something I’m learning to embrace – how can one ever be bored when everything is shifting and moving (possibly the only consistent aspect of this life)? At the same time, I’m coming to the realization that boredom isn’t inherently a bad thing – rather, it provides us with a lens through which to learn to appreciate stillness. A mindful existence. Acknowledgment of that which comes and stays; acceptance of that which leaves.
I am a planner by nature. I like to have direction; some idea of where I’m headed. In August I will be moving to a new city; in September, beginning an exciting new course of study. There are people to meet and places to explore and new ways of finding myself. I’m trying not to think too much about where I’ll go from here; of course, I have some idea, but I truly want to appreciate the journey for the time being. There will be lots of time for excitement. For now, I need a time of peace, in whatever that entails.